my 10-day tinder experiment

For every situation in life, we as humans analyze risk vs. reward.

Is it worth the risk of sneaking out at night, to go and party? Is it worth eating a 500 calorie cheeseburger for the risk of gaining a pound? Is it worth the risk of not studying, to sleep an extra two hours tonight?

You get the idea. It’s human-nature to check out each situation we enter before we actually engage in the action. Likewise, for the app tinder, there is a risk vs. reward for downloading the app. Is it worth downloading tinder for the risk of having your profile screenshotted and sent to all your friends? Is it worth worth the risk of matching with someone on tinder, knowing that the profile you matched with could be a grown adult waiting to kidnap you? Lucky for you, I downloaded tinder for ten days, to help you determine whether or not you should use this app.

For the few uncultured, uninformed, and brainless people who do not know, tinder is a location-based dating app, where you can ‘like’ or ‘dislike’ profiles and chat with fellow tinder users if both parties mutually liked their profile. Down below are examples of what profiles tend to look like.

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Day 1- Today is the first day of my ten day experiment with tinder, and I’m feeling pretty good. It’s been a full twelve hours, though, and no one has matched with me. Fingers crossed🤞

Day 2- I have already found seven people from my school who have this app, and am questioning why I ever downloaded tinder. What if my friends see my profile? Regardless, I remain matchless. Maybe people aren’t very active on this app. Not really sure. Could be ugly though 😜

Day 3- I had to call in for some tinder profile help today. Clearly something isn’t working. I had three tinder-experienced, college-aged friends re-make my profile. They have selected my profile pictures and re-written my bio. We’ll see how these next seven days play out..

Day 4- I got my first and only match today. Her name is Anna. I messaged her and said “whatsup :),” but I’m still waiting for a response. Am I a woman-killer? Safe to say, today has been rather unsuccessful.

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Day 5- I got my second and third match today, and it’s rather exciting. Their names are Lizzie & Lily. I decided to take a different approach to messaging them both. For Lizzie, I tried (really hard) to start the message with a pun. For Lily, I complimented her taste of music, which she explained in her bio. Although this is good news, my first match, Anna, has yet to respond, and Lizzie & Lily haven’t messaged me back either. It is apparent that I need to do more than just a measly little message to get a response (Warning: major cringe below).

Day 6- It’s official: the world is ending. My three matches haven’t responded, and I didn’t get another match today. The outlook doesn’t look promising.

Day 7- Still no responses, and no new matches. My friends assure me, though, that I will find someone before my ten days are up.

Day 8- It is now becoming embarrassing to document my time on tinder. It is becoming clear that I don’t have much ‘game’ on this dating app. There are still two days left though. You know what they say, “Day nine and ten on tinder are the best days.” Actually, no. They don’t say that.

Day 9- No news here, other than Lily leaving me on read. Let me tell you, life can be rough.

Day 10- My tinder days have come to a close. I failed to get another match, and none of my previous matches ever responded. It’s time to hang my hat up, and make my tinder card hidden. I think it is safe to say that I am not the ‘tinder type.’

This experience has humbled me greatly. Just kidding. To be completely honest, having tinder was fun, just not very fruitful. I’m not sure whether my lack of matches had more to do with my unattractive profile or because females on tinder aren’t active. Either way, I think this was a learning experience that I’ll never forget.

I bring all of this back, though, to the risk vs. reward that tinder offers. I am positive that someone at my school screenshotted my profile. To be honest, I screenshotted profiles of people I knew too. The risk I took though, wasn’t worth it. The short time I invested in tinder didn’t return any dividends for me. And, if I add in the fact that my tinder profile is probably floating in someone’s phone at school, I would again say that downloading tinder is not worth the risk.

Excellent learning experience for me. If you don’t believe me, download and see for yourself. This is an excellent app to become self-absorbed. If you’re not careful, you’ll find yourself on this app all the time. But hey, we are here for a good time, and not a long time.

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